SO’D Off / Going Nowhere [delete as appropriate]

In short, we really have not got a clue what is going on. Thankfully this puts us firmly on a par with all the top media agents (and S** Sports) as they don’t seem to know anything approaching real facts either. Naturally we turned to the official Rovers website for information, and subsequently discovered that they wanted people to help clear snow from the pitch (bring your own shovel mind), and not a lot else. So as far as informed commentators go we’re round about the Alan Shearer on Match of the Day mark. Anyway, here is a summary of how things are unfolding, and we will update this page as more news, rumours, fantasies, outlandish unfounded comment reaches us.

Monday 11th January – afternoon

Posts on the Viking Supporters Co-operative messageboard suggest that Sean O’Driscoll is being lined up as a possible replacement for Owen Coyle at Burnley.

Monday 11th January – early evening

S** Sports News report that Sean O’Driscoll’s odds to be the next Burnley manager have shortened drastically from 25/1 to 7/2 putting him joint favourite alongside Steve Coppell and Brian Laws.

Monday 11th January – late evening

Despite the reports on S** Sports News, few other media seem to be reporting that O’Driscoll is likely to take the job. Brian Laws is seen to be the favourite in all but the bookies’ eyes. General consensus from Rovers fans is that whilst O’Driscoll would no doubt want to try his hand at the Premier League, surely the increased media spotlight and the fact he would be afforded less time to make things work would dissuade him.

Monday 11th January – later in the evening

The Lancashire Evening Telegraph’s website reports that Lee Clark is favourite for the Burnley job, but also makes the claim that both Sean O’Driscoll and Brian Laws have already been interviewed by the board at Turf Moor.

Tuesday 12th January – 11am

S** Sports News now have someone stood outside Turf Moor, with a camera crew and everything, saying that its is now a two horse race between Sean O’Driscoll and Brian Laws for the Burnley job. Sean’s is the horse moving in an unconvential way, slowly and neatly edging its way forward, whilst Brian’s is the one which charged over the top.

Tuesday 12th January – midday

According to the Yorkshire Post, Rovers chief executive David Morris claims that no-one from Burnley has spoken to him. This means that either Sean O’Driscoll is staying put, or that Burnley have realised how effective David Morris is at his job and instead directed all their enquiries through the Ticket Office.

Tuesday 12th January – 1pm

Sean O’Drsicoll’s odds now stand at 25/1 on with some bookmakers, and they’re not the type of people to give money away easily you know.

Tuesday 12th January – 1:30pm

The BBC are now reporting that Sean O’Driscoll is ‘to be named’ as the new manager of Burnley. A quick look on the Viking Supporters’ Co-operative messageboard shows that Rovers fans are already discussing possible replacements… Its a nightmare vision… Keegan, Simon ‘bloody’ Clifford, Neil Warnock?!! I hurl my DRFC mug out of the office window in disgust.

Tuesday 12th January – 2:15pm

On twitter BBC’s Jacqui Oatley is praising the Burnley board for appointing Sean O’Driscoll and ‘not taking the easy option’. My finger hovers over the ‘unfollow’ button

Tuesday 12th January – 2:30pm

Hope springs eternal, as O’Driscoll’s odds fly back out to 3/1.

Tuesday 12th January – 3:00pm

There are rumours on some Burnley fans’ sites that Sean O’Driscoll has turned their club down. I disappear outside to try and work out where abouts in the bushes my mug landed.

Tuesday 12th January – 3:15pm

The BBC change their story from Sean O’Driscoll being ‘named as’ Burnley manager back to being ‘in talks’ with them. Presumably they couldn’t quite hear if he had accepted or not. Rumours of special microphones with incredibly effective pick-up being delivered to Turf Moor are at this stage unfounded.

Tuesday 12th January – 3:30pm

S** Sports are now backtracking faster than Nick Griffin on Question Time as they report that Brian Laws and Sean O’Driscoll are both favourites for the job. Maybe they’ll take it on together? It could make for a good sitcom. They could call it SOD Law, or the Brian and Sean Show if they’ve no sense of fun. Its been a long day ok.

Tuesday 12th January – 4:00pm

Reports in the Lancastrian press, the highly regarded Pendle Today to be exact, hint that reports of Sean O’Driscoll being named as Burnley boss are premature. Elsewhere the Doncaster Rovers official website still leads with Keepmoat Stadium require help to shift snow.

Tuesday 12th January – 4:30pm

Finally someone tells it like it is BBC Radio Sheffield report that Sean O’Driscoll’s future is ‘unclear’. If only everyone had this approach then I could have done my actual job today, instead of this.

Tuesday 12th January – 4:50pm

Here’s a few of the other names being banded about various Rovers forums as possible replacements for Sean O’Driscoll should he leave; Steve Nicol, Nigel Adkins, Brian Laws, Steve Coppell, Gareth Southgate. More laughably someone on the Viking Supporters Co-operative has stated “Billy Davies comes accross as a realistic and down to earth guy”. I hope they’re getting him confused with Billy Connolly… or Bilie Piper… or Billy Elliott. Ok yes, I’ll stop.

Tuesday 12th January – 5:00pm

The BBC now appear to be most of the way through a huge u-turn as the headline story on the Football section of their website has not only changed tact but also changed image. Sean O’Driscoll’s dugout shot has been replaced with an unflattering picture of him which looks like his features have decided to congregate in the middle of his face until this blows over. And not only that, its been shifted across to the right to make way for a picture of Brian Laws. The caption reads ‘Laws is understood to be the favourite to land the job’ as if the preceding three hours of speculated coverage had never happened. According to the BBC “Brian Laws will have a second interview at Burnley as the club step up their search for a new manager to replace Owen Coyle”.

Tuesday 12th January – 5:15pm

Despite the changes on the BBC website S** Sports online presence is still sticking with their headline Clarets Eye O’Driscoll. No doubt they’ll claim it was a story about the Rovers manager suffering from ‘red eye’ should Burnley appoint Laws.

Tuesday 12th January – 5:45pm

Things appear to have calmed down a little so I’m taking this opportunity to leave the office and head home. Should anything happen between now and 6:30pm you’ll not here it from us first, so in many ways we’re resuming normal service. Before I log off, here’s a summary of the various headlines relating to this subject as they stand at the moment;

Daily Telegraph – ‘Brian Laws frontrunner for Burnley hotseat’… BBC – ‘Burnley Talk to Laws & O’Driscoll’… Daily Mail – ‘Brian Laws the surprise choice to replace Owen Coyle at Burnley’… The Sun – ‘O’Driscoll is top of Burnley list’… Associated Press – ‘Burnley eyes O’Driscoll, Laws to replace Coyle’… Doncaster Rovers Official Website – ‘Keepmoat Stadium require help to shift snow’.

Tuesday 12th January – 6:45pm

Right, we’re back online, and it seems we’ve missed very little in the last hour. In fact so quiet is it on this story that as far as the Press Association is concerned no news is some news. An article from the PA’s Mark Walker titled Rovers Quiet on O’Driscoll Reports has made it on to various news sites. The crux of the story is this; “Rovers have neither confirmed nor denied giving the Premier League side permission to approach O’Driscoll”. It seems what the rest of us view as general inefficiency on the part of the club’s media department is being seen as some kind of poker-faced PR tactic by the press. If they stick around they’ll find that Rovers rarely confirm or deny anything.

Tuesday 12th January – 7:00pm

A bumper Doncastrian audience for BBC Radio Sheffield’s Football Heaven tonight then, the programme starting at around 6:05pm. Seth Bennet kicks off the show by stating that Sean O’Driscoll has been in Lancashire for talks, but ‘has not been offered the job as yet’. The consensus from the BBC Radio Sheffield team is that O’Driscoll would not be swayed by money or prestige, but would need everything to be right as a club for him to get the most out of the job. Paul Walker and Seth Bennet believe that ‘unless things are 100% right for him’ O’Driscoll will not move on. Other news is that O’Driscoll has a clause in his contract that means significant compensation would have to be paid for O’Driscoll to move clubs, and this is likely to be a sticking point for a club on a budget such as Burnley. Football Heaven also features great summary of Sean O’Drsicoll’s Rovers side from caller to the show (and Rovers fan behind the Lincoln Branch of the Supporters club) Derek who says “…there are times when you can walk out after watching a Donny Rovers match when despite being a tight-fisted Yorkshireman you would want to pay again”.

Tuesday 12th January – 7:30pm

According to S** Sports News ‘Burnley chairman Barry Kilby had little to tell us about the situation’. They then proceed to show a twenty-five second clip of Kilby getting into a car whilst telling the man fro S** nothing. The only thing of note from this is that Kilby drives a car with the registration BK88… I like to think he bought it off a high ranking executive at Burger King.

Tuesday 12th January – 8:00pm

Having watched far more S** Sports, on tv or online than can be deemed healthy I decide to finally leave the computer and go and cleanse myself. Maybe I should go and roll naked in the snow or something.

Tuesday 12th January – 9:30pm

Latest news coming from Doncaster Rovers is that they still need help removing snow from the pitch, oh and you can still use your season ticket to claim £5 off in the club shop. Way to play it cool Rovers.

Tuesday 12th January – 10:10pm

Over the course of today S** Sports and BBC have provided an insult to the verb ‘understand’, they have used it repeatedly instead of the much more accurate ‘reckons’, or ‘has an inkling’ or ‘takes a wild stab in the dark to tell you’. Never the less, there is much encouragement for us as ‘S** Sports News understands that Brian Laws is set to be named as the new Burnley manager’. Obviously we are delighted… but given earlier events we’re reining it in for now.

Tuesday 12th January – 10:15pm

Reports on BBC Radio Five Live are now matching those on S** Sports in suggesting that it will be Brian Laws who gets the Burnley job, and Sean O’Driscoll will remain at the Rovers.

Tuesday 12th January – 11:30pm

The BBC website’s absolute u-turn is now complete as they proclaim ‘Burnley are set to name Brian Laws as their new manager’. Again they are claiming that they ‘understand’ this to be the case, presumably in much the same way I ‘understand’ the finer points of quantum physics. The BBC claim Laws will be named as the new Burnley boss on Wednesday, saying that O’Driscoll ‘missed out’ on the job. S** meanwhile are stating that Burnley could not agree compensation for O’Driscoll. Unsurprisingly, neither website has made any effort to apologise for the rumours to the contrary they elected to broadcast as news earlier today. Good work nation’s media… well done.

Wednesday 13th January – 8:15am

So what will today bring? Well, here in Worcester its brought a bloody great thick blanket of snow, meaning a trecherous two mile walk into the office, and typically the first thing I do, before even taking off my snow coated outer layers is see if there is any news on Sean O’Driscoll. On the messageboards many fans are claiming its ‘official’ that O’Driscoll is staying, though a quick gander around the various news websites show that no-one has actually been bold enough to confirm Laws appointment.  If they could do so before my 9am meeting that would be much appreciated.

Wednesday 13th January – 8:40am

For the love of God Burnley please confirm your managerial appointment now. I cannot take any more of listening to Nicky Campbell. When did he move from Watchdog to become regarded a credible spokesman current affairs anyway? Shouldn’t he be grilling some cowboy builder somewhere for an uneven pavement they put down, or harranging the CEO of a global company about a trivial mistake made by their Basingstoke branch? And he started on Wheel of Sodding Fortune didn’t he? How do you go from asking Jenny Powell to give you a twirl to commenting sincerely on an earthquake in Haiti?

Wednesday 13th January – 11:15am

Morning meeting over, and I’m back to discover major developments afoot on the Doncaster Rovers’ Official Website. Yep, they’ve confirmed it. Its now official. Of the two candidates they now know exactly who it will be. That’s right, its Derby County. Of Derby and Millwall, it is the former who Rovers will face in the next round of the FA Cup, should they ever play and subsequently beat Brentford. As for Sean O’Driscoll related news, still nothing.

Wednesday 13th January – midday

Watching the Doncaster Rovers Official Website over the last two days has been like watching that footage of George W Bush as he was told about the terror attacks on the World Trade Centre. Theys hould be doing something, they should be acting, but instead they just sit there… and sit there… and sit there grinning mawkishly. Until now that is. Yes, finally, after two days of speculation and rumour, the Doncaster Rovers official website has spoken on the matter of Sean O’Driscoll by publishing a ‘club statement’. It reads “Doncaster Rovers Football Club is pleased to announce that Sean O’Driscoll is to remain at the Keepmoat Stadium,” presumably having been given a shovel to help with the more serious stories of the last few days. The statement continues; “Doncaster Rovers can confirm that enquiries were made by a Premier League club; however these enquiries are now at an end.” Alas it seems we can only speculate who this mystery Premier League club may have been. Well, thank God thats over. My employers will be particularly delighted. Back to work people… the show is over.

Wednesday 13th January – 12:30pm

In completely unrelated news the Burnley FC website has just announced that Brian Laws is to be their new manager. “Laws was always the Burmley board of directors’ unanimous first choice for the vacancy” apparently. If this is how they handle a unanimous decision I would hate to see them embroiled in a debate. Now, this time we really are done… move along folks, nothing to see here.


About glen wilson

Former schoolboy, Glen Wilson writes on football and travel and has been editor of the award-winning popular STAND fanzine since before the award.


7 thoughts on “SO’D Off / Going Nowhere [delete as appropriate]

  1. Some Burnley fans are unhappy with both candidates claiming both would be the ‘cheap option’. I Can’t help thinking SOD’s compensation would make him more expensive than the vast majority of the legion of football managers currently watching Cash in the Attic and generally getting under their wife’s feet.

    Posted by Gav | January 12, 2010, 10:16 pm
  2. Cash in the Attic? Is that the show where Wimbledon one-hit-wonder and professional antipodean Pat Cash hides in someone’s attic and they have to find him before Judith Chalmers clubs Eamonn Holmes to death?

    Posted by RTR | January 13, 2010, 12:49 am
  3. Glyn Snodin to take vacant Rovers’ managerial role on O’Driscoll exit.

    So Wroey was right after all,

    Posted by True Rover | January 13, 2010, 12:57 am
  4. Wow, never thought I’d worry so much about losing a Manager.


    Posted by Matt Smith | January 13, 2010, 11:59 am
  5. You’ve just described my day yesterday. And now we can all relax…

    Posted by Joy division Oven Gloves | January 13, 2010, 1:49 pm
  6. When I heard SO’D might be leaving I almost dropped my monocle in my gin. But upon today’s news, I celebrated with a refreshing Tizer.

    Can’t help feeling that Donny have come out of the whole affair better than anyone. Especially poor old Burnley.

    Posted by Broadswordtodannyboy | January 13, 2010, 6:22 pm
  7. It is amazing what mentioning ‘Colin’ as a replacement can do for the popularity of a manager. In SOD (we still) Trust.

    Posted by Gav | January 13, 2010, 9:56 pm

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